12 September 2003: Lakshmi

Time has passed; things have occurred. 

I am in the midst of major transitions, breakthroughs. Big Saturn transit thingy.  I don't know much about transits yet, but Sherpa had some hints.  "Saturn moves in cycles of 29 years," he told me a few weeks ago. "You can get insight into what might be happening now, by looking at what was going on for you 29 years ago, 21-and-three-quarters years ago, 14-and-a-half years ago, and 7-and-a-quarter years ago."

I did the math, and I was looking at four of the more monumental transitions in my work.

Twenty-nine years ago I was starting First Grade, and was really seeing, for the first time, the horrors of institutionalized oppression and forcibly imposed stupidity, and I was recognizing that this was the way that most people were, this was the world I was expected to live in.  I fought it kicking and screaming, right from the start, by instinct - I began my first day of First Grade by refusing to salute the flag.  I didn't stop fighting until aikido presented me with a better strategy. 

Twenty-one-and-three-quarters years ago I started practicing aikido.

Fourteen-and-a-half years ago I got my black belt in aikido.

Seven-and-a-quarter years ago was the peak of my work with the Center for the Study of Shared States, including the workshop we taught as a group, and the solo workshop I taught on ki and hypnosis... which, if I recall correctly, was the point at which I decided that I would eventually write nonfiction and teach workshops as part of my livelihood.

So what's happening this time?

Well, I've stopped doing tae kwon do, and started doing yoga.  Lots of yoga.  There's lots of yoga at the Y, for free (for me).  Just like with aikido, I knew at the beginning of my first class (three weeks ago tomorrow) that this was what I needed, that this was going to be one of the foundational practices of my work, something I was going to be practicing regularly for the rest of my life.

I've finally figured out the approach I'm going to take with my first nonfiction book (the one that was once going to be about the Tree of Life, but has since mutated many times over).  I'll begin writing sometime before the end of this year.

And of course, I've now written my first published nonfiction piece on the Work - my brief essay in Sherpa's book.  And the book is done, aside from the printing.  Yesterday I added Sherpa's final corrections, and he came over and we put some finishing touches on the cover, and then I converted it all to pdf format and burned it onto a CD for him to mail to the printer.

Also, changes in aikido - growth, new stuff integrating and manifesting.  Sometime this Fall, I'll begin teaching a Monday evening class in one of the rehearsal spaces at the Berkeley Repertory Theater.  No mats, no throws - all weapons and ki meditation work.

And I have begun a practice of praying to Lakshmi. I recommend it. She's got her own special style; it's not like praying to any other divine aspect (I mean, no two are alike - but Lakshmi is one I hadn't really connected with before, and she really is delightful).  Another big change for me - my prayer work until now has focused primarily on masculine aspects of the divine.

For those unfamiliar with her delights, Lakshmi is a goddess of Malkuth (the tenth sphere of the Tree of Life, the sphere of material manifestation).  Not a mother-goddess, but a daughter-goddess, like the four Tarot Princess cards at their absolute best, or the dancing woman on Crowley's Universe card.  If Lakshmi were the commandmant-giving type of deity, I suspect that her first commandment would be something like, "Thou shalt fully enjoy the glorious fruits of creation."

I like Lakshmi.  She is better than Cats.  I'm going to pray to her again and again.