4 December 2003: Humility

Today it is foggy here, and beautiful. I love fog; I find it exhilirating, energizing. I've finished this week's homework; in a short while I'll go to class and be given more homework, which will keep me busy for another week. I went to yoga and then pleasantly wasted an hour hanging out at Comic Relief, and then I came home and ate delicious pea soup - the perfect food for a foggy December day. I was going to write a quick journal entry, but then Dragon Lady came home from work early, and she was being all beautiful and great so I made love to her, and now I am relaxed and content and listening to Dream of the Blue Moth, and it's almost time for class and I still need to shower, so this will have to be a very quick journal entry indeed.

Tuesday night was the second session of the Initiations lab. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed myself. More letting go of my attachments, ambitions, and envies equals more fun, of the sort that Sherpa calls Advanced Fun. Definitely classic initiation stuff: relinquishing my petty sins - envy, vanity, etc. - like Inanna relinquishing her clothing to enter the Underworld.

One must relinquish a certain amout of vanity just to face up to having such petty vanities and envies. I suppose that this is what the virtue of Humility is: being able to take an honest inventory of one's current state, with minimal interference by wishful thinking, fear, self-importance, or self-deprecation.

Self-deprecation, in this degenerate age of cowards and weaklings, is usually mistaken for humility or modesty, and the refusal to indulge in self-deprecation is usually mistaken, by the cowardly and weak, for arrogance. But self-deprecation is actually just self-importance for masochists and passive-aggressive types. True Humility involves serenely recognizing and acknowledging all elements of one's current state - strengths as well as weaknesses, virtues as well as sins.

Lo! I have discovered the one right and true way to be humble! Adore me, mortals!